Why Listening to Coldplay Doesn't Make You Gay...

"You want to know how I know you're gay?...You like Coldplay!" 

- From the 40-Year-Old Virgin

*There was another instance hinting that listening to Coldplay hints that a person gay in the TV show Bones, but I couldn't find the quote (sorry!).*

To begin, I really don't understand why or how this idea came to be or exist. It just sounds so absurd (and a little bit ignorant, to be humbly honest). Now, I don't exactly think that a random person will just say, "HAHA! YOU'RE GAY FOR LIKING COLDPLAY!!" whenever a song or two (or in my case, all of their studio albums) is played, but it's the thought that counts. And in this case, the thought propagates an unrealistic truth correlating one's sexual orientation to that same individual's taste in music (I seriously have to stop writing these blog posts after studying for my classes - I'm gonna alienate all of you someday, I can feel it). Otherwise, I'd be gay at least twice over. At least! Because I like Coldplay and I'm quite confident I'm not alone with this admission. 

Every album presents a new element to the band, all the while shifting their musical direction in grander and elaborate ways with each subsequent album Coldplay releases. For example, Parachutes (their first album) has an atmosphere akin to small and private jazz club-type setting - the music is simple and emotional (look to Yellow, Trouble, Sparks, We Never Change, and Everything's Not Lost, for example). A Rush of Blood to the Head adds hints of orchestration and soundscape to their repertoire (Politik, Amsterdam, Clocks, Daylight to note some); while X & Y shifts the band to arena rock-type of style (White Shadows, Fix You, and Speed of Sound). With Viva la Vida or Death and All of His Friends, Coldplay becomes an Art Rock band, adding layers upon layers of music and ambiance (Viva La Vida, Strawberry Swing, Lovers in Japan, 42, and Cemeteries of London, to note some); while Mylo Xyloto (the only album I'm conflicted with) capitalizes the current electro-pop rock movement of the airwaves (Paradise and Princess of China). So with this in mind, is it really gay to listen to a band that's musically complex, being able to make life all the more tragic, romantic, and exciting? I think not.

"Look Ma, I'm Drunk!"

Man, oh man. Where to begin with this one?

Fun fact about me: I love liquor. Especially the hard stuff. Jägermeister, Captain Morgan, Jim Beam, Powers, and so on. I don't mind beer, but it has to be the good stuff. Blue Moon, Shock Top, Dos Equis, Newcastle, and such. As you can tell, I've been drinking quite a bit to be able to tell you all of this information. The irony of it all is that I have a very low tolerance for alcoholic beverages. This is so because I really don't drink that often. But I wish I could drink more. Like a lot. I just don't have enough free time to build up a tolerance to alcohol. And don't worry, I'm not an alcoholic...although, because I do recognize that I enjoy imbibing, does that make me an alcoholic?

Moving on, now that I think of it, my experience as a drunk also happened to occur immediately after the night I met the girl at the masquerade. After the incident, we (friends and I) decided to meet up with people who were at Bar Sinister, an underground gothic bar/club out in Hollywood. It was on the way over there that I had too much to drink and I didn't realize it until I stumbled out of my friend's car. 

You see, my friends, getting drunk just sneaks up on you. I was so certain that I had reasonably spaced out my portions of alcohol (a serving of whiskey every 15 minutes, with water and food in between servings), but that wasn't the case. In fact, I was having a serving of whiskey every 5 minutes, and in 15 minutes, I had enough alcohol in my system for two people. So by the time we got to Bar Sinister, I was gone (drunk). 

My experience as a drunk was pretty much existential. It felt like an out-of-body experience. My body lost all control of movement, struggling simply to maintain balance. Time and space just went out the window for me. My friend and I spent a good 15 minutes wrestling in the parking to help me become acclimated to the sensations that I was feeling and help me regain some hand-eye coordination. Of course, that 15-minute training session felt like it had gone on for an hour, but it was a much needed 15 minutes. I regained some control of my body and after that, it was an uphill battle to regain complete control. 

I spent the next 2 hours at Bar Sinister in a simultaneous state of euphoria and anxiety. While I relished the sensations of what the alcohol was doing to me: the misplaced courage to dance and be social and the feeling of weightlessness. I was also frantically pacing about the perimeter within club, as well as ascending and descending the single flight of stairs that were strangely there, all the while obsessively retracing my steps and eyeing my wristwatch, trying not to lost track of time. I'm certain I can across as a madman to some, while being normal with other people. 

In reflection, I don't ever want to cross that line again of being buzzed and being flat-out drunk. I found it to be an unpleasant experience altogether, despite doing my best to make the most of it. It's just not for me, plain and simple. 

Next post will be about why listening to Coldplay is not gay...Until next time!

Side Note

Going back to the previous post, "Been A While..", I mentioned that one of the topics of discussion was to talk about my stolen Teggy, Ophelia. As it turns out, I already wrote about it! So lucky for you (but mostly for me - this saves me some time :P) , that's one less item on the agenda to write about :-)

As of now, here is the list of topics for upcoming posts (taken from the previous post):

• My first experiences as a drunk
• Ophelia (my Teggy) being kidnapped (read about it here!)
• Why listening to Coldplay doesn't make you gay
• Finally, "Rachel" and how I found her

That is all. Until next time!

Been A While...

...Since I last posted here. School, work and "Rachel" (the other girl I started seeing) have been my focuses in life lately, and at times, I simply want to shut down for the purpose of reflecting my life in recent weeks. So, in reflection (but mostly because there are things I said I would talk about), here are the topics of discussion for the following blog posts: 

• My first experiences as a drunk
• Ophelia (my Teggy) being kidnapped
• Why listening to Coldplay doesn't make you gay
• Finally, "Rachel" and how I found her

So, there you have it. Four tales of my convoluted life story (albeit a good one).

P.S. Does anybody read these? Or am I this digital madman, crying futilely to the perceived skies above me? I know you at least visit (the stats don't lie, so ha!), so say hello and leave a comment (just don't say I'm gay for listening to Coldplay)! Until next time!