My Great Social Experiment

I don't have many quality friends on Facebook. Most of the people that I have on my friend's list are mostly mutual friends or (much more honestly) acquaintances. For a good while, this didn't bother me at all, since I was just randomly adding people relentlessly over the course of several months. However, now I have this lengthy list of strangers who are, apparently, deemed "friends" of mine. Only...they're not. Rather than to eliminate them from my friends list, I decided I would try to befriend them, to know a thing or two about who they are. While that's a daunting task to do, I'm feeling confident that not everybody will respond to the message I will send them (which I'll mention in a moment). Instead of having, say, 100 ongoing conversations, I might only have to deal with 70. 70 is still a high number, but at least it's not 100. As for the message, I plan on sending, I'm thinking something along the lines of this (keep in mind that this is only a draft question, and may be changed sometime in the future):

Hello. It's embarrassing for me to admit this to you, but the truth is, I don't know you at all, other than your name. I don't know who you are, where you come from, and where you belong in this mad, blue world (and if I do know who you are, and you got this...sorry that I forgot?). However, I do want to know you: what makes you happy, your favorite art and its myriad forms, your regrets, your dreams, the last time you cried, something you hope you'll never be, what keeps you awake at night. At the very least, describe yourself in one word. I'm not asking you to reveal your authentic, personal self all at once, but I am asking that you'll slowly (even if you're hesitant - and that's ok: I'd be hesitant myself!) reveal yourself to me. For the sake of equivalent exchange, I'll share something about myself also, giving you something in return for what you have given me. The hope is that someday, in the distant future, we can become friends (even if this is just upon this digital landscape), rather than remain a subconscious, subtle blip in our lives. I trust that you'll read this lengthy message and take the chance to meet somebody new, or at least, somebody who subtly lingered about your news feed and friends list for some time.

I hope that at least one person bravely responds back to me...

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!"

Lately, I've been feeling down. It's hard for me to admit this, since I'm making the conscious decision to post this entry for all to see, for all to have a little glimpse at one of my many flaws. Especially when the Internet is known for posting content that puts us nice and high and far apart from the rest. Still, I promised myself to be honest, especially to my "self", as I am now. "To thine own self be true..." as Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet. 

Anyhow, for the sake of truth and honesty, I'm sad to say that I've been sad lately. I know that's ok: people always have that "down time" in the rhythm of Life and I'm not an exception. However, the problem lies in the fact that I perpetuate this sadness, allowing it to bleed on and on for days, weeks, sometimes months, and unfortunately (regretfully so) years. What bothers me most is that I can't seem to let go and move on and that's where I'm at at the moment...again. I'm at the cusp of being overwhelmed with negativity that's unnecessary in my life...yet I invite it again, insisting for it to stay, give it food and drink, and ask for it to stay for as long as possible before this sadness must (temporarily) depart from my life. I bring it upon myself and it's such a drag...

I want to get out of it, but I just don't know how. I always think if I could cry it all out, I'd be able to relinquish much of what I'm already holding on to, but I know that's only a temporary solution. I know it'll come back, sooner rather than later. I've been taking action and doing things that are helping me feel good about myself, about life. I've been exercising and eating healthier as a means to begin developing a healthier self-image of myself; I'm still blogging here (obviously) as a means of reflection of what I'm going through, what I'm experiencing, and what I'm learning from my experiences; and I've been reading, writing here, listening to a lot of music, and other things to keep my mind engaged (distracted, really) from the negativity that dares creep into my life. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. These are really baby steps to a better perspective of life, but I'm hoping these initiatives will cascade into some torrential happiness that can help erode much of what I'm already harboring.