"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!"

Lately, I've been feeling down. It's hard for me to admit this, since I'm making the conscious decision to post this entry for all to see, for all to have a little glimpse at one of my many flaws. Especially when the Internet is known for posting content that puts us nice and high and far apart from the rest. Still, I promised myself to be honest, especially to my "self", as I am now. "To thine own self be true..." as Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet. 

Anyhow, for the sake of truth and honesty, I'm sad to say that I've been sad lately. I know that's ok: people always have that "down time" in the rhythm of Life and I'm not an exception. However, the problem lies in the fact that I perpetuate this sadness, allowing it to bleed on and on for days, weeks, sometimes months, and unfortunately (regretfully so) years. What bothers me most is that I can't seem to let go and move on and that's where I'm at at the moment...again. I'm at the cusp of being overwhelmed with negativity that's unnecessary in my life...yet I invite it again, insisting for it to stay, give it food and drink, and ask for it to stay for as long as possible before this sadness must (temporarily) depart from my life. I bring it upon myself and it's such a drag...

I want to get out of it, but I just don't know how. I always think if I could cry it all out, I'd be able to relinquish much of what I'm already holding on to, but I know that's only a temporary solution. I know it'll come back, sooner rather than later. I've been taking action and doing things that are helping me feel good about myself, about life. I've been exercising and eating healthier as a means to begin developing a healthier self-image of myself; I'm still blogging here (obviously) as a means of reflection of what I'm going through, what I'm experiencing, and what I'm learning from my experiences; and I've been reading, writing here, listening to a lot of music, and other things to keep my mind engaged (distracted, really) from the negativity that dares creep into my life. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. These are really baby steps to a better perspective of life, but I'm hoping these initiatives will cascade into some torrential happiness that can help erode much of what I'm already harboring.

100 Days of Happiness & 500 Days of Summer

At the time of this posting, someone I know will be approximately 25-30% complete with her personal "100 Happy Days" Instagram project. The goal is for her to make the most out of the next 100 consecutive days, to discover joy and happiness from the conspicuous and the clandestine, the ordinary and the extraordinary. By doing so, she hopes to become a completely different person - a person who is more loving, grateful, and appreciative of the life she's been given, regardless of what trials and tribulations she'll face along the way. I'm hoping she won't mind if I put a link here to her IG account, so you can see her progress yourself!

Her 100 days of happiness project has been making me think of my personal happiness as of late. Somewhere between losing "Rachel" and dealing with the monotony of work and school, I've lost the drive to make the most of life and embrace the simple pleasures of daily life while committing the fantastical moments to memory. This is alarming, considering that one of my key resolutions for this year (and perhaps to infinity and beyond) is to finish the year in a more happier state of mind. With this in mind, I do want to refocus my perspectives on life and try to be more mindful of what's around me, who I interact with, and what feel (physically speaking) on a day-to-day basis. I don't think I'll be devoting a 100-Day crusade to my personal happiness anytime soon. Although, if I did, #Day1 would involve 500 Days of Summer.

To this day, I can't remember how I came to discover this film - I don't remember anyone sharing this movie with me, nor do I recall ever seeing any promos of any sort for the movie. All I can remember is that I've somehow always known about it, in the same way people always just knew how to breathe, and I'm fine with that. This is one of those movies that always gives me that "pick-me-up" feeling, knowing that life has a funny way of saying that it's aware of who you are, and somehow, I'm always inspired to try and pursue a more active love life (whatever that may be) again and again. This is really the first time I've really noticed Joseph-Gordon Levitt (although I knew he was once in 3rd Rock from the Sun in his teen years, and he's been in other films prior to this one) and over the years, he's become one of my celebrity man-crushes (but I'm digressing here). The same applies to Zooey Deschanel - I only recognized her after I realized that she was also in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as Trillian. I never really noticed how beautiful Zooey was until seeing this movie, mostly because we (just like JGL) saw her beauty in the most subtle of ways: her eyes, her hair, the way she laughs, the way she sleeps...rather than "taking it all in," we're given these little glimpses of her, of who she is, and when it's all compiled together, it's her (again, I digress, which is something I always do, I suppose). This is why my #Day1 would be this movie.

A New Year and A New(er) Me... (Pt. II)

Now that I've reflected on my previous resolutions, here are my New Year's Resolutions for 2014! You'll notice that some goals are still the same from last year's and there are some completely new ones for me to accomplish!

2014 Resolutions:

1) Be happier (I've decided that this will always be a life-long resolution for me)

2) Be healthier, physically and mentally (also, another life-long resolution)
    -begin exercising
    -improve diet

3) Read 60% of books in my reading list
    -also, buy at least 10 e-books

4) Complete another CD collection

5) Learn to cook

6) Explore California
    -visit 3 museums
    -go hiking on 3 trails
    -try new food
    -go to 3 new cities

7) Learn a new language

8) Create 2 photo albums
    -one for the family to have
    -one for demonstrating my best photography

9) Find a spiritual calling (of sorts)

10) Learn to dance! (especially like nobody's watching ;-P)