Mixed Signals & Gambling

This is a different story about a girl (not this story about about a girl), since I've been trying to move on from the first one (if this makes any sense to anyone). Long story short, I've been bonding with a girl over dumb jokes, quips, and an overall genuine concern of our daily existence (small talk, I know, but it leads to deeper topics of discussion). At first, I didn't really notice notice her (that came later), but I just thought it was kind of cool to talk to somebody on a daily basis. Like I said, over time, I really began to notice her, like her laugh, her smile, her hair even (yeah, yeah, don't laugh). Maybe it's just me (and most likely it is just me), but I was certain she was into me, too. Her body language gave me all the right signals, and after some internal debate with myself, I decided to take leap of faith and ask her out on a date. And this is where it was a pain to know the answer. She hesitated and mulled over a possible to give me. All the while, there I am, waiting and anticipating an answer. My heart was beating so loudly, and all the sounds surrounding my were washed out, replaced by the bass-heavy beating of my hear. In the end, she wasn't interested, apologizing for leading me on and letting to believe such things. In reflection (this happened yesterday Aug. 3, 2013), I'm not at all upset. If anything, I feel disappointed. I really thought to have a future of sorts with this girl. Oh well, she's not interested in me and there's nothing I can do but to move on. The search continues...damn it.

Later on that day, I began to work my shift. With the recent hang-up looming over my conscious, my work-shift was immediately tarnished. Not to mention that dreaded PowerBall Lottery jackpot had climbed up to $300 million (it's $300,000,000 written out). Which, in turn, only amplified my bitter perspective of my day. As you all know, my view of the lottery is a very cynical one. For the lottery (or any gambling mechanism in general) dangles false hope upon foolish participants stupid enough to think that they can become filthy rich overnight (and no, that's not from a book - it's my honest, and humble, opinion). Which does happen and it's extremely rare when it does, but it'll never happen to you. And if you have read my "Give Me The Winning Ticket!!!" post, then just know that I loathe the system that is the lottery for the reasons posted in my previous post, with a passion of a thousand suns (you can thank my friend for that one! Ha!). 

So all these trite and predictable comments, multiplied with my romantic hangups have made me extremely bitter for the day. And here I am, venting to the digital world, hoping for an ear of sympathy, yearning to be heard, and finally desiring to connect with another person half a world away. Thank you for reading, listening, and responding (if you choose to reply) to this lengthy vent. It wasn't easy nor comfortable, but thank you nonetheless. Have a good night, good morning, and good afternoon.