"The Reasons I Won't Be Coming..." (Pt. II)

Since the last time I wrote about her here, I'm finally starting to become affected by my breakup. Although, it's sad to say that this sounds somewhat crude and inconsiderate, to confess that I'm now just starting to be impacted by the loss of a romantic relationship after some time has passed. It's more honest to say that I've been juggling other problems in my life at the moment (namely my Teggy Ophelia), as well as trying to incorporate new aspects of life into my own (such as getting my lazy self to be in a physically healthier state), and I'm in a short-term winter session (cramming 16 weeks of class material into 4 weeks), so my free time is devoted to studying for a slew of quizzes, exams, and even an essay here and there. I'm certain that these distractions are what delay the whole "moving on" process for me.

However, when I do truly have free time (meaning that I don't have anything that needs immediate attention), and I stop and reflect on the state of my (love) life, it's then when those subtle moments of sadness creep in. I shut down and become distant, aloof, and at times lethargic. The world just isn't as bright or colorful as I'd like to see it to be. Perhaps, saddest of all, I doom myself into thinking that I'll never find another person to have a fulfilling romance. 

If I could, I'd like to go through this emotions in bigger portions, rather than having small morsels of these feelings here and there. These small portions really take away from the many small high points that I have on a daily basis, whether it's the warm feel-good feeling of enjoying a homecooked meal, or the pleasure of meeting new people or accomplishing tasks (I'm thinking of the gym right now. actually). Instead, the food becomes slightly bland or I become lethargic or stubborn when it comes to getting tasks done. By taking on more of the aftermath of my breakup, I feel like I'd be able to thoroughly process my breakup in a much more healthy manner. I feel like I can process, reflect, and learn from what we once shared and grieve over the loss of not only a romance, but a friend also. Yes, I know that life will be much more difficult to endure in that short amount of time, but I'd rather have this than to constantly lose interest in life or have the simple pleasures of life marred by the breakup that looms in the labyrinth of my mind. 

Well, this was a heavy blog post, but don't worry: the next post promises to be more lighthearted. Until next time, my fellow readers!