Friday, September 28, 2012

The Downward Spiral...

I couldn't believe how easy it was...
I put the bottle to my lips...
FIZZZzzz...So much liquor for such a tiny little hole...
Problems have solutions...you know...
A lifetime of f*cking things up, fixed in one determined chug...

Everything is faded...
Everything is marred in this world...
A deeper shade of mushroom blue...
Fuzzy...spinning out of my head....

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Salad Fingers and Distributors!?!

          As I went into work this past Sunday afternoon, I didn't think that my Acura's distributor would give out on me, but it did. A crummy ending to a crummy week. Not all that week was bad, but the ugliness of the week definitely took away the bright attraction of those good moments this week. So yeah, I must replace that distributor if I want to drive my car again.

          Unfortunately, I had to miss classes today and it sucks - I don't want fall behind, not after I went to so much trouble to get back on track! Hopefully, I'm not too far behind. Regardless, some good, albeit in a weird way, did come out of today - I had the chance to do some bonding with my younger brother. He recommended that we watch Salad Fingers (the first episode down below). Words alone can't describe the insanity that is this show! Is it weird that I want to see more of this show?



Friday, September 21, 2012

A New Letter

          So I finally finished the latest entry to my "Dearly Beloved" series. This means that I'm down to four or five letters now (I still haven't decided how many - I still haven't decided the conclusion!). So this is good news, since I'm now caught up! I originally wanted a letter each month, but I failed at that. So, now I'm caught up, provided that I can type up one more letter before the end of this month (which is in 10 days, including today!). I'd better get to work!!!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

If I Was A Radio Personality...

...For one day in the week, (preferably in the weekend) this is what my schedule would look like...


Theme: METAL MADNESS!

Opener: Song of the Day (Either my choice or a listener's pick).

First Two Hours: Talk Radio with metal music interspersed.

Third Hour: Crank Calls and Jokes with more metal music interspersed.

Fourth and Fifth Hours: Serious Talks of current events, politics, some religion, and wacky news for fun. Also, more metal music is interspersed. 

 Last Hour: Non-Stop music.

Closer: A small. thought-provoking proverb with a Final Song (usually my pick).




....Or at least something like that.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Sunday, September 16, 2012

My Station Is NOT A Bank!

          It happened again today. Someone was stupid enough to think that I'll accept a hundred dollars for only a few dollar's worth of snacks. I wonder what insane logic runs through their mind when they attempt to do this. What's more frustrating is that THEY get mad at ME for denying them. Don't they see the stupidity in their futile attempt? Why, is this the First Bank of ExxonMobil? Is this the ConocoPhillips Credit Union? NO! And I don't have a thousand dollars sitting under the register just for you! I'm just not that eager to get robbed, or worse. So what gives some of the people I encounter that idea - that they can walk in with one large bill and walk away with a handful of smaller bills? The best part is that they want to see my boss. They say that I'm being unfair and they threaten to take their business elsewhere. What they don't realize is that my boss agrees with me. He argues that it isn't fair for those who actually spend money (usually at least twenty to thirty dollars or more) and need the change. So, I've got that on my side. Still, it's just frustrating dealing with people who think a gas station is a bank.

Friday, September 14, 2012

First Time In A While

          For the first in a while, since I've moved back really, I was finally able to sit down and watch a movie. These past couple of weeks have been demanding, especially after falling behind for a week a while back. You don't want fall behind class schedule on the first week. How did that happen? I didn't take notes in my reading the text, so my professor doubled our work for the second by requiring the first week's reading as well as the second week's. So take it from me, don't fall behind! Anyhow, back to the movie. The video for the week was 300. It's been a while since I've seen it, but I've been wanting to for a while. As we, my siblings and I, were watching it, my brother and me would crack up at certain parts of the movie because we were reminded of what we saw online in a YouTube video (the video's down below). All in all, it was just nice to kick back, relax, and enjoy a visually engaging movie.





Tuesday, September 11, 2012

What Happened?

          Somehow, I've managed to control the circus that is my life at the moment. Somehow, I'm all caught up in class until new assignments are posted and demanded of me, as well as work becoming more manageable (in the sense that I'm not always exhausted and I can do classwork, too!). Somehow, I'm finding the time to volunteer, to work on my writing, and have some time for piano. On the way to class today, I had to stop and wonder, "What did happen? How is it that I struggled to be on top of my assignments, work, and find time for myself these past two weeks, yet these stresses really assuaged in this third week of the semester?" Of course, this doesn't mean that I've got it easy. I must still put effort into my class work and its assignments, work, and the spontaneous events that occur in life. I must still run from place to place, running a perpetual rat race. So for now, it's somewhat easier to manage, at least until something big disrupts this ebb and flow of false tranquility.

Monday, September 10, 2012

It's Done!

          It took me a while, but I finally finished up the seventh letter (it can be found here: Dearly Beloved (VII)). This means I'm over halfway done now, since I plan to write out 6 or 7 more before I can be done with it. On small tangent, I made a video game reference - maybe you can figure it out! Giving it away's too boring. Even as I'm typing up this entry, my mind's preparing a small outline, jotting down mental notes, and mulling over ideas as to how I want the next letter to unravel itself. The more I think about it, the more my heart races, especially now that I'm so into it, a part of myself is the "Lover" in these letters. Being able to pen down these letters have been amazing, especially because I didn't feel that I was able to express so strongly an emotion that many want, but often don't find. Those that I show these letters to are surprised that I write so well, especially now that I'm writing about things I don't have at the moment (marriage and children). I would love to hear your thoughts, though. I'm not talking about just this specific letter, but any letter in general. Was it too over the top or cheesy? Or could you relate at some parts of the story? Or do they just suck in general? Please don't say that, though.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Some Progress...

          I have finally made some progress with the seventh letter of my "Dearly Beloved" series. I'm about halfway done (I plan to write 12 or 13 letters, though I haven't decided that just yet). It's been more and more difficult to write lately and it's really bugging me, especially since I want to see this completed and then I'd be able to move on. Usually, though it just takes me just a bit of planning (usually just asking some small, but imperative, questions in regards to that specific letter) as well as just trying to wedge in some words that serve as a kick-off to the rest of the letter. So, yeah. That's pretty much it. I'll send a link to the seventh letter soon, when it's complete.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Pianist

          For the first time, in a good a while, I was able to play the piano. It was frustrating and somewhat depressing to say the least. I began playing the piano years ago, as a high school junior. I continued to play well onto the end of my senior year. Along the way, I learned chords, scales, and even pieces of music that weren't found in the instructional book that was given to us. Those were much more difficult to learn. Also, several years ago, I had enrolled in a beginning piano class at a community college (because I didn't have enough skill to demonstrate that I ways at higher skill level). That was also a good experience, because even though I did know physical aspects of the class, the music theory had really helped me have a more integrated understanding of music works, from more advanced scales as wells as chord inversions.

          But I'm digressing here. Playing the piano, as I said, was frustrating and a bit depressing. It felt like I did forget everything - I couldn't even play my C Major scale properly, and that's the easiest one of all (because there aren't any sharps or flats - the black keys, if you will)! I was strongly relying on muscle memory, feeling my way around the piano by what I had memorized, instead of learned. After 10 minutes of  simply reciting my scales, my wrists had cramped and my fingers felt swollen (even though they weren't).  On top of this, I was only able to recall only two pieces of music that I was able to play fluently; the others were simply fragments, missing more than one section, and simply incomplete.

          However, as much as I'm sad at this revelation, I'm feeling good about myself. Though I may have lost much knowledge of the instrument, I'm still able to recall notes, scales, and chords. That's more than what most people can recite. At least, I'm willing to pick myself up and relearn everything again. Plus, there's a chapel at my school where I can practice, too! I spoke to the University Chaplain and she pretty much gave me permission to play the piano, as long as I respect the times for set aside for worship and prayer, of course. So yeah, I'm not proud of myself for letting this talent slip in to oblivion, but I'm eager and willing to relearn everything to get it back. It almost feels like riding a bicycle all over again.

Monday, September 3, 2012

An Exhausting Weekend...

          While mostly everybody I know is off enjoying this rare three-day weekend celebrating life, as wells not having any responsibilities for the day, I'm finding myself trapped behind 5' by 5' cashier's cubicle, slaving for money that's not mine, dealing with childish adults, and striving to squeeze in some fractions of time for studying. Add this with trying to move from one place to another, as wells as the daily inexorable demands of life, and I can't help but be exhausted. I walk about in a store, stumbling from aisle to aisle, eager to go home. I yawn loudly, and I think people notice. You'd think I'd be sleeping by now, but nope. I'm still frantically trying to squeeze time for homework. I should count my blessings (and don't worry, I am) - I'm just simply worried that I'll just overwork myself and shut down. I'm not at that dangerous level of stress just yet, but I still have to be careful. In the meantime, I still have that digital boob tube best known as YouTube to distract me every now and then. And so, with our further ado, here's something I found the other day. Enjoy!